Blog what- what

I pushed the "join this site" button today for the first time ever. I read so many blogs, well Miss Mili B, Skattie What are you Wearing, Style Guide Cape Town, and recently Tee Tee is With Me almost daily.

 I love these blogs, I admire their craft. There’s something that all of them teach me; brand identity, branding, marketing, curating, photography and I guess most importantly style.

But low and behold I have never been led by the Holy Spirit to affirm them more with my joining their site.

On one hand it is arrogance, perhaps envy-jealousy on my part, but I would also like to think that on the other hand, the better and truer hand, it’s because I am not completely on their side.

It is either the blog is too crude, or too white, or too something I can’t put my finger on; just not completely me right now. Maybe its Lula a few years ago, and eish I guess I can still see the coolness in it all, but I am a new creation now and I am trying to live that life not only speak it.

That being said Galatians 6: 11-18 has made me think about my own sense of self-righteousness and cautious not to think highly of myself even if I "preach" for lack of a better word. I.e. it once again has reminded me that all the praise that I give to God in this blog should not only be about me wanting to be recognized and reputed as a God fearing woman. No! Not that only or even first. It should be about me wanting to lift Jesus and God higher because life and glory for that matter now should and can no longer be about me. Everything that happens in my life now, well especially the good is from and about giving glory to the one that has made it possible; GOD in the name of JESUS. Oh and I said especially the good because perhaps there is cause to argue that the Lord sometimes allows bad things to happen in our lives so that we can trust him more, I mean He even let a bad things happen to Jesus , he was crucified on a cross, and dead for three days. But it was all for His glory, hence he rose Jesus from the dead.

But what I was saying is that, I have never, until today that is felt that there was a blog, I guess even a person that could stand for style and success and God as effortlessly as I would want to. Bonnie Mdluli, or Bonnie Henna as she is now married gave me that urge to join today.

In parts because she only has 20 members right now, and I don’t like to be a follower but a starter, oh gosh does that make me conceited? So I felt less like I was becoming a groupie but like I was discovering an undiscovered gem first, and everyone wants the phone before it is available in the store-I mean the country you understand?

But even more than that, she is married now, and she is loving it, not even trying to play it down, and I need inspiration like that in a world where marriage never mind black marriages are nothing to celebrate or mention. I feel like she has been a complete success ( I mean seriously she has been in countless local and international movies) on her own but even now that she is married she is even more beautiful that she has this capacity to love a man unapologetically and  have a family with him.

It’s also significant to me that she is very open about fighting depression, but maybe I l get into that more later in on this blog. In hindsight even without have having read it for myself I should have been able to pick it up. There is this distinct demeanour that she exudes that has a subdued, flaccid almost jah depressed thing to it, it’s the depression she battles/ed with.

And maybe lastly it her effortless style, tell me if I am wrong but Bonnie is definitely a stylish woman if not simply a style icon. It’s just always been that way, I feel like she has never really tried hard for it either, or maybe it was that depression thing that made it come across that way. Either way I remember her (because I feel like she is not in the public eye as much these days, but come to think of it she is making a comeback in the form of her new book Eyesbags and Dimples. And actually she has probably been overseas or doing other way more monumental things say behind the scenes or auditioning in America) style has always been on point, almost in a Thandiswa Mazwai way ( but now without the ancestral connotations, thank you Jesus, hence that black consciousness thing she has got going on that I  identify with too) slash Nonie Gaza kinda way.

Takes Deep Breath in and OUT.

Oh and one more thing I am loving about her, is that she enjoys writing and hence, a safe enough presumption reading. I do too, as I am sure you have gathered by now. But truth be told one always feels like blogs or maybe should I say fashion blogs or better yet the fashionable blogs do not have much writing, because maybe the assumption again is that people in the fashion industry are not thought full? Wow that’s an interesting one.

Anyway, yay today I pressed the join this site button for the very first time. If you are reading this and in any way you hear me please join this site.

I will be honest there is this deep desire for affirmation that someone’s reading this, that someone feels me. And then of course eventually I want to be able to do something meaning full with this space, yes and that includes gaining financially because I want success for myself as does God, I mean OMG look what the bible says in Leviticus 26:10 - away rat race and living hand to mouth be gone from me - cant deal!